I recently sat with a client who was devastated over the loss of a dream. This door was clearly closed in his life and there was no real chance of him ever achieving it. There is very little in life as painful as the loss of a dream. His inability to move past this loss cost him his entire family. I wish he had come to me sooner. He was grieving so hard that he couldn't even see the amazing blessings he had in front of him... until they were gone. What do you do when you really just can't get over a loss?
Why does it feel so uncomfortable to talk about race and racism in this country? Deep down in our gut we know that something just isn’t right and that makes us squirm. Humans strive for internal consistency and when it’s not there, we become uncomfortable. A part of our mind knows that we are all really one family- the human race. The other part knows that we harbor some racism, or stereotypes or discriminatory thoughts. Yes, we do. This makes us uncomfortable. When we become uncomfortable, we actively avoid situations and information likely to increase it. So, it’s normal to feel that way. I invite you to feel it now and keep reading anyway.
There is something called multigenerational transmission process which just means that we unconsciously pass things down in families through the generations. Some things that get passed down are really great, some are really bad. We got dealt a really bad multigenerational hand of racism, fear, confusion and discrimination. And it is NOT our fault! We didn’t ask for this, but it is 100% our job to fix it! How did we become this way? We were taught. How do we stop it? Teach something different. But…Write comment (0 Comments)
I am not letting you off the hook as parents, but we seriously work way too hard sometimes. I’m talking about myself here.
Scenario: I just got back home from taking my son to school. I have a million things to do in the next hour. I get an urgent text from my son saying that he forgot his ipad on the kitchen island (AGAIN) and needs it ASAP (of course!).
Dilemma: I should really say no and let him learn his lesson, but it kills me that he will get an F because that assignment due today was on his ipad. Then my mind starts racing. This is highschool! If he gets an F, it will affect his GPA. He won’t be able to get into college. The next thing I know I have created a future for my son as a bum on the street. Then I start thinking about how that perfect mom (you know who she is) would bring him his ipad, or even better yet, she would have noticed it sitting there on the island and not let her son leave without it . I should be more like her. But wait, there’s more! If I don’t bring…Write comment (0 Comments)